10 Qualities That Make You a Fierce Gentleman


What are the qualities of a Fierce Gentleman?

Okay, so you’ve read the Fierce Gentleman Manifesto, and it’s not bad, so far as rhetoric goes.

But what does it mean?

How would you know a Fierce Gentleman walking down the street, and how would you tell him apart from just another Joe Schmoe (excuse me — a Man who has not yet come to the realization that the current global situation was calling him urgently to become a Fierce Gentleman)?

One of the 10 qualities of being a Fierce Gentleman is you can pull off stuff like this and make it look good.

One of the 10 qualities of being a Fierce Gentleman is you can pull off stuff like this and make it look good.

Below is the sure-fire ways to tell if the guy you’re seeing is, in fact, a Fierce Gentleman: the ten characteristics that set the F.G. apart from other blokes.

  1. He takes care of his physical appearance & style. No matter what industry he is in, or what his station in life, the Fierce Gentleman is dressed for success every day. He takes no days off from excellence, and this is reflected in his dress as well as in his attitude. He has cultivated a personal style as a manner of creative self-expression in the world and navigates by his own compass, without waffling in response to “fashion trends.” By itself, this is a necessary but not sufficient condition for a Fierce Gentleman (which we shall abbreviate henceforth as F.G.): plenty of men dress well and take good care of themselves, but not all of them are gentlemen, nor are all of them particularly fierce.
  2. He’s considerate. None of this fake-Alpha machismo crap: He doesn’t cut in line or steal cabs from other people at the end of the night.  To the contrary, he holds doors for people (not just women, although he does hold doors particularly for women), lets others cut in line at the grocery store if they have fewer items than him, and generally goes out of his way to accommodate others and pay them consideration in matters big and small.
  3. He’s chivalrous. His approach to women is an mixture of respect, adoration, and cherishing amusement. He will hold doors for her, doff his hat on her approach, rise if she approaches when he is sitting, take her coat, offer to seat her, push in her chair as she sits. An entire group of F.G.s, seated together when a woman approaches, make for a stirring sight as they all rise simultaneously and offer to take her things or provision her with a seat. Although this may seem old-fashioned and unnecessary at first (and many do say so) women as well as men enjoy it.
  4. He understands that his life is about service to others, not serving himself. This goes beyond being polite and considerate: those are just rules of etiquette and polite society and as such, are meaningless without a deeper conviction. For a F.G., service to others is that underlying conviction. He understands that all ego-gratification plans are scheduled for failure; and, similarly, that his efforts to enrich the lives of all those around him are destined for eventual success. He understands that Nature provides resources to the individual in direct proportion to the scale of the role they have undertaken in the ecosystem; thus, to be about as big an idea as he can possibly manage, he will naturally command resources commensurate with the bigness of his role. You can detect this element in conversation, or by reputation, if the man is very well known and publicly seen to be achieving great things, with great resources (Elon Musk is an example. Sal Khan is another.)
  5. He has done, and is doing, his work. A F.G. works diligently and consistently to improve himself in all ways, and to continually remove the limits on his degrees of freedom in all aspects of life: physical, mental, emotional, financial, sexual, social, spiritual. In this endeavor he is not ashamed to consult experts, enlist aid, invest time and energy and money, and ask for help. Because of this, a F.G. can almost always be seen to be: athletic or working at some physical pursuit, self-aware and introspective, emotionally mature, mentally sharp, knowledgeable and worldly, calm and imperturbable, in control of his financial situation, present and aware, a competent-to-exceptional lover, with both breadth and depth of friendships and relationships, and with a deeper metaphysical perspective on life, the Universe, and everything. Such Qualities are greatly to be desired in a friend, lover, partner, father, husband, and son, and consequently. . .
  6. He is in demand. If you need something done, ask a busy person to do it.” A F.G. is notable by the pace and volume of his output and throughput and does not seem perturbed or winded by what others would consider a blistering pace. This ability to conscientiously and thoroughly execute makes F.G.s highly desirable in any business, even in government bureaucracies, and more precious than gold in new businesses startup where the workload is inhuman and the labor must be born with a maximum of charisma. The F.G. does not become conceited about this ability, however, and will smilingly offer to help others if they are becoming swamped, even if his plate already seems full. Despite all this. . .
  7. He has backbone. Despite being accommodating, considerate, helpful and fundamentally of service, the Fierce Gentleman is the farthest thing possible from a doormat. Because of his intimately awareness of his own limits and his constant striving to live and playing at his edge, he knows what he can and cannot do, and has no qualms about saying “No” or laughing off unreasonable requests or onerous expectations. Because he has done and is doing his “work,” he knows his own weak areas and trigger points, and is very careful to avoid them altogether or navigate around them. Because he knows what he is about in life, he follows his own strong compass with integrity, and categorically refuses to be pulled off-mission by this or that influence or request. A Fierce Gentleman is so consistent and trustable in this regard that a person may set their own compass by his.
  8. He has access to, and follows, his inner wisdom. He may call it God or the Divine Mind Within or insight or intuition or any other name, but the Fierce Gentleman has cultivated it, has regular access to it, and minds what it tells him. He also realizes that within him is an inexhaustible fountain of creativity, and therefore he has laid aside all fear of ever “running out of ideas.” (This may be particularly evident of he is involved in the arts or other creative pursuits.)
  9. He follows his own passions, wherever they may lead. Living in an age of near-perfect access to information and know-how, the Fierce Gentleman takes time to pursue his passions ardently and in a way that expresses his innate creativity. Because of this, he is often a fount of knowledge on an obscure topic you may have never heard of, or have a special skill or talent refined over years of practice that may or may not be valuable or desirable as the world defines such things (and little does he care for the world’s approval!) Or he may have dabbled in a variety of diverse areas, jack of all trades and master of none. A true F.G. may well oscillate through periods of intense focus on a single idea or business or purpose, forsaking all hobbies and passions in the meantime, and it is natural and proper that he should do this: he will return to his passion(s) when a cycle of rest and relaxation follows his next great triumph or achievement.
  10. He is a fierce warrior. Why call him a Fierce Gentleman? So far, his qualities seem to involve a great deal of service, gentleness, and consideration for others. How can such a one be called fierce? Isn’t this word to be reserved for menacing & dangerous wild animals, the violently intense, the threatening and the savage? Well, while all those descriptors could apply to a Fierce Gentleman whose loved ones have come under threat or attack and who realizes that he is the sole line of defense in the preservation of their persons, the word fierce also and equally means: “resolute or strenuously active” “of exceptional quality, exhibiting boldness or chutzpah” and “very, excellent.” These are the meanings we apply when we say a man is a Fierce Gentleman. Although he has principally banished violence from his life, this man is nevertheless a warrior, confronting the biggest and baddest dragons that plague the modern world, brooking no cowardice, shrinking from no challenge, stepping through his own fear and staying brave “5 minutes longer” than the ordinary man, as Emerson said. You will be able to tell this from your dealings with this man. You will be able to feel his strength, unafraid, in each moment. It is impossible to fake.

There you have ten ways to discern a Fierce Gentleman. If even a few of them are present, he is surely on the path towards becoming a full-fledged F.G., and you ought to point him to this blog, that he may  more actively cultivate himself along this path.

If all ten are present, then you are lucky indeed to have made his acquaintance. Treat him well, for he will certainly treat you well, regardless of who you are.

The effects of having a Fierce Gentleman join an organization or group are of particular interest. Most commonly his presence will serve to sharpen the ambition (and improve the behavior) of men who witness his conduct. His treatment of the women in particular can cause initial confusion, and sometimes brings derision, until others see the results that come from a man treating a woman as a cherished, unique equal from a position of self-respect and without supplication.

In this way, the 11th characteristic of the F.G. may be that he inspires others to live better, by his mere presence. This inspirational / aspirational aspect of the F.G. is part of what makes them so powerful in a world so bereft of role models.

Now that you’ve read the overview and the practical markers of the Fierce Gentleman, go deeper down the rabbit hole of how to cultivate these qualities in yourself, by reading How One Becomes a Fierce Gentleman.

This article has 113 comments

  1. I have read many blogs, comments and posts over the years but never have I encountered anything with the depth and stunning magnificence of Fierce Gentleman. It lays out a life plan for those with the wisdom and courage to undertake it. There are some areas where I unquestionably fall short but just knowing what they are is the first step to tackling them. I just wanted to say thank you.

  2. This is the man I married – second time around! Amazing, amazing gentleman who brings out my heart, guards and protects it, loves and cares for me wildly, completely, passionately. He inspires me to be my best. Never thought I would find anyone like this.

    But I am a Fierce Lady (as I commented on the Traits of a Fierce Lady article) and I dated a lot of men after my divorce who didn’t know how to handle that because they were not sure of themselves and had allowed someone else to beat them down.

    Now, after finding my Fierce Gentleman who is truly my Knight in Shining Armor and there to watch my back, my desire is to bring this out in every man who has ever been told he is not enough! It’s there, this Fierce Gentleman, inside of every man. It’s inherent – he just needs the courage and confidence to allow that part of him to live itself out in him.

    Love this whole concept! Would love to partner with you in presenting this to the world because men and women need this SOOOO much!

    Thank you!

  3. Dear Andrew and other Fierce Gentlemen & Ladies: I think I may have just found a fierce gentleman, perhaps for the first time in my life. I simply wanted to thank you for capturing so many of his qualities in a single place. I am also going to continue to do my best to be a Fierce Lady (which, by the way is largely the same thing as being a Fierce Gentleman.)
    Here’s to a Fierce 2014 and beyond for us all.

  4. enjoy another read

  5. Great words. I found it difficult to continuously capture the essence of the post because abbreviating F.G. was a major distraction. I think in this texting age, we get so carried away with the need to shorten our thoughts and messages that it starts to unconsciously flow through every single aspect of our lives. Writing an eloquent article such as this does not warrant the use of abbreviation as it took away the essence of the written word.

    Otherwise, all due respect well written post and yes, I am a young lady who appreciates a man in a suit, one who pulls my chair, opens doors for me and let’s me cut in line (with a smile of course) if I have fewer items than him; that’s just the tip of the iceberg and yes, I am a feminist :-)

    • Hey Intellectualfem, thanks for the compliments, and thanks for the good feedback. I’ll definitely consider it in future writings.

      P.S. As you can probably tell, I am also a feminist ;)

  6. […] in an ideal man. And my brother, of all people, posted this Fierce Gentleman Manifesto and 10 Qualities of a Fierce Gentleman on his Faceplace page today – […]

  7. I don’t understand why people are saying this is classist. My grandfather was a coal miner and then worked on the railways. No matter what he wore when working, he always wore a suit when at home.

    He bought his first house when he was in his sixties, having lived in council houses all his life. A working class man, who wore suits, a trilby and never complained about the Jungle sores he got in Burma. He was a true gent, from one of the poorest parts of Yorkshire. I think that people who are claiming this is classist are actually being classist in that they think the working class/blue collar can’t be part of this.

  8. […] you’ve read the 10 Qualities That Make you a Fierce Gentleman, and you thought to yourself: All well and good, but what about the […]

  9. […] ol’ Ryan Janes–the ultimate FG in my mind. Ryan sent me an article titled “10 Qualities That Make You a Fierce Gentleman” and I instantly knew that’s what I wanted to strive for in life. Or at least a female […]

  10. Sorry, but this strikes me as a load of style over substance crap. What has looking like you’ve stepped out of a Tom Ford ad – see nauseating picture – got to do with being a gentleman?

    • De gustibus non est disputandum.

      • In matters of taste, there can be no disputes. <==

        Actually that is a cop out, for example people of poor taste speaking on taste, would for example be suffering from the low end of Dunning Kruger.

        Secondly if AFG looks like a hipster then it should be burnt with fire. Because one should never be a hipster. A form of disingenuous social identity, would undermine the very essence of what you are trying to achieve with this concept.

        Now for the rest, I agree with this treatise on many levels, as one learns even in basic deportment :

        gent·le·man
        /ˈjentlmən/
        Noun
        A chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.
        A man of good social position, esp. one of wealth and leisure.

        or

        (n.) A man of calm demeanor, strong preserve, intellectual thinking, polite yet meaningful speak and a good upbringing. A fighter for the cause of right with words, not guns.

        if you prefer.

        I feel the problem here is Image choices that people are responding towards.

        A skimmed through a few place, one is an image of Kanye West a supreme douchelord of the highest order, the image of the hipster above is another example of poor imagery.

        I think you may end up getting reactions from those who put about as much effort into the reading as was with the exceptionally poor image choices.

        • Well put Sir!

        • Craig, you are right – I made a mistake. My images choices were poorly thought-out. I spent a lot of time formulating these ideas, but very little time choosing appropriate images.

          I am in the process of refining the image choices. . . please share additional feedback if you feel they are appropriate or inappropriate, and thanks for commenting.

  11. Okay, I must say to the persons that have a problem with this article that in my personal opinion and I am hoping Andrew agrees with me that this is for people that desire to act and dress like what you would consider to be a gentleman from the time when the general term was first established. I do not believe it has anything to do with being sexist, or summing up men in a box but that it is the overall qualities that were originally used to identify what people defined as a “gentleman”. I also do believe that a person does not have to be a “gentleman” to have these qualities but just a good natured person but even so I am sure that at some point they would be tagged a “gentleman” either way. Plus this is a choice to be this way just as anything else is.

  12. I want to know what the counterpart of this is for the actions mirrored by women.

  13. Totally agree with #1. Those who don’t. TRY IT. It will change your stars almost single handily. A suit & tie, worn consistently, generates great respect. Faster than anything I know, it conveys that you are about excellence as a your standard. I don’t want to hear it about business casual and kakis, or no tie with a jacket, and at my work in my industry this and that. You will be promoted, listened to, confided in to an almost irrational degree in a suit. If you MUST wear a uniform (Doctor Scrubs, Police Uniform, Factory Worker), you SHOW UP early in a suit, then change into your uniform. At the end of your shift, you leave the office in a suit. And let them see you do it. Quit dressing like the other workers. Dress like the boss of your company, and you will soon be.

    At first you’ll be tested constantly: “Why do you wear a suit?” If you don’t have a narrative, you run the risk they’ll think of one for you: “he’s pretentious.” So be prepared to define your narrative yourself at first. Simply say, “I wear a suit as a sign of my respect for my {Insert HERE: Customers, Patients, CoWorkers, Students }.

    Seriously, guys, so often you only have a few minutes to win the trust of an account manager, a patient, a date, a customer. Wearing a suit and a tie is your ace in the hole.

    • Bravo Brian, Thanks for this contribution. You neatly summed up why dressing better sets you apart.

      For those for whom suit-and-tie would be out of place — such as those working in construction, for example — you can still find a way to be a cut above in appearance. This is the reason painters show up in clean paint overalls to all jobs, for example.

  14. […] common request has been to feature stories that apply Fierce Gentleman principles to real life — specifically, fatherhood & […]

  15. […] 10 Qualities That Make You a Fierce Gentleman I know there are a lot of similar pieces out there, but this one is actually very well written […]

  16. This is pretty good, overall, but it’s more of a woman’s fantasy wish-list. Well-groomed, considerate, chivalrous as the top 3 reads like a personals ISO ad. Many charming rogues would fit that bill.

    I think the author is really fleshing out the classic male “archetype” — call it the “Hero.” Yes, it’s powerful, and it’s inspirational, but it’s an idealization, too.

    One could do the same for women — construct the Ideal Feminine, perhaps the Female Warrior-Priestess archetype, or some other variation. And many women would probably cry foul for being burdened thusly.

  17. A F.G. understands balance and being someone who brings about a positive ambiance in his presence…a smile or sense of humor that brings about warmth and openness among a group of people, a charisma that engages others to open up in a warm conversational embrace, the listening skill of someone who understands how to be sincerely intrigued to learn about others. (Seriously…being with someone who is serious 24/7 is as fun as it sounds.)

  18. What a lovely description of me! And I am a straight, successful woman. How silly to make this about men only; 95% of this applies to women too. No, I do not stand when women come to the table, but I do make sure they are comfortable. It’s called being a considerate human being. And much of the advice extends to how to be successful, as well as kind. Something all human beings should aim for. You are purposefully leaving out 51% of the population. How rude.

  19. These are good points to live by. I’m sure I could use some polishing, but good to aim to be the FG.

  20. I’ll solve the “classist” debate right now…in this world there are white collar people and blue collar people and people who are both (men and women). Some like there own kind and others cross over…a man is a man, not the clothes he wears…blue collar women know this when the clothes come off ;)

    The men who physically built the free world by the strength of their back, the sweat of there brow and for the love of their families would, in general, not appreciate the idea of the “Fierce Gentleman”, “Fierce” being a re-defined qualitative adjective almost exclusively embraced and used by 2013 woman and homosexual men. “F.G.” is a feminine idea, something for men to aspire to in their eyes. Their eyes.

    A man should be what he always has been, he should be smart, he should be strong, he should be kind and loving, he should be protective, he should be trusting, and above all he should be tough, because the world will continue to try and make him less and less of a man everyday, and it’s in a real man’s nature to keep calm & press forward like all those before him. Heterosexual women who can’t see these 7 qualities and the like as the real stuff of men will go get an “F.G.” instead.

  21. Suits? Really? Suits are for men who don’t have REAL work to do.

  22. This is an epic article. I have a 10 year old son and he is a Fierce Gentlemen. One day my son and I were standing in a long line at the post office and he noticed a stressed out woman at the back of the line, he then asked me if she could take our place in the front. Parents should have a mission to encourage their boys in being Fierce Gentlemen.

  23. This is horrible. You are putting men into a box and saying this is what they should be. You are not leaving any room for incredible men who don’t fit most of this. Shame on you for being so shallow. This is the most sexist article I have ever read.

  24. You lost me on #1 – it all depends on the industry the FG works in. Wearing a suit and or tie in my industry would be off-putting to my co-workers and make me look pretentious.

    In fact, being a natty dresser, and “smelling good” – are NOT appropriate signs… but the other 9 are spot on.

    Take out #1 and you’ve got quite a winner of a list here. Too many guys do #1 and miss all the others. The other 9 attributes are far more important than #1.

  25. This just sounds like weaksauce millennial idealism trying to mix with older rural values. It doesn’t work.

  26. Ladies, if any one of you has a man who fits into every single one of these qualities all of the time, you are not good enough for him (unless you happen to be Mother Teresa). While I do see the merit in each point that Andrew has listed, this article puts forth a deluded and overly idealistic view of the world. No one is anywhere near the perfect gentleman. No one is anywhere near the perfect gentlewoman. Love by its very nature is imperfect, yet there is nothing in this world more beautiful than love that penetrates every flaw. It is in fact this quality itself, the ability to love regardless of wrongs done and pain received, that makes the man fitting of a partner. I realize that the FG that Andrew has described would undoubtedly possess this quality, however he goes too far.
    My problem is this: I have known many great men in my life. I have known men who have inspired me and men who have loved harder than I ever have or could. This list that you wrote, in my mind, damages their legacy. You do not even have the slightest fragment of authority to judge a man for not dressing in a suit every day. Nor is the man with perfect chivalry any better than the man who does not rise from his chair every single time his girlfriend approaches.
    I see it like this, if your man refuses to stop loving you, even when you cannot understand it, then you are lucky. Return the favor and love him for who he is.

  27. I agree, but I would add one more trait. A real man is educated, seeks knowledge and truth. He has complete command of his native tongue. He may even speak one or two other languages. He is articulate and his written grammar is accurate. I like what you write, but you would do well to get an editor.

  28. I’ll agree with all points save for #1. I’m a dedicated law student and if you think I have money or time to spend on tailored suits then you’re out of your mind. My backbone is plenty fierce to inform you that my plain t-shirt, jeans and zip hoodie are plenty suitable for my day-to-day. I’ll save my suit for job interviews and eventual career. You may want to qualify that first statement. Seems to me a “fierce gentleman” would avoid superficiality.

  29. A I read this, I felt a wave of encouragement in my efforts to teach my sons about how to be. I want to print this off and have my teenager read it. Thank you for taking time to write something so fiercely eloquent. I feel inspired to write what it means to be a fierce lady. I will ponder on it and get back with you if I write it. Are you on twitter? I’d love to connect there. I’m @th_purpl_lady in case you’re interested.

  30. I’m solidly in the group of people who find chivalry to be old-fashioned, but I do not think it need be done away with. I propose that it be expanded to include all fellow human beings as a part of being considerate. It it hard to imagine that anyone would not enjoy the “chivalrous courtesies”, and a gentleman (or dapper woman) would certainly make an impression were they to offer them consistently to all.

  31. Wonderful. Now if we could lil Wayne to read this and repost.

  32. Classy article. Agree with all 11 point, except #1 the suit could be nice clean business casual.

  33. You could dress up and be ready to go to work in less than 1 hour. So everyday I wake 1 hour before time to go to work.

  34. Thank you, I really enjoyed this, might show it to my husband as he has most qualities of an F.G, especially working at a blistering pace, always happy to help others and fiercely protective of family and friends to name a few.

    David Gandy is the perfect example of a F.G .

  35. Once he was known as a renaissance man, excellent in all regards. As a woman, lawyer, and professor, I must say that this man is the ideal for someone like me.

  36. What a great surprise to read such an article.

  37. The single greatest advantage I have been given in life, was the great fortune to be born to the daughter of a truly Fierce Gentleman. My Grandfather was such a Titan of a human being. He served in the first world war as a Seargent and worked the remainder of his career in an oil refinery. In the 40 or so years that we were together, I never once heard him offer an unkind word to another, or decline an opportunity to help anyone. He was a fountain of kindness and compassion, joy, wisdom, humility and strength. He was elegant and powerful. No woman ever stood, or opened her own door in his pressence if it could be helped. His integrity was iron clad.

    He built a house with his own hands and dined with the Queen of England (true story). He wore a suit well, but not often, although he was never unkempt. He lost his leg in his 60′s and continued to smile. He lost his eyesight in his 70′s and continued to smile. He lost his wife of 60 years and though it hurt him badly he continued to smile. He suffered a stroke at 85 and continued to smile. On the occasion of his passing three separate receptions had to be held in order to accomodate the hundreds of intensely devoted friends and loved ones he had drawn to himself in his life.

    People who read this and talk of classism and elitism, or envision a weak or meek man, have simply never known a true gentleman. The power of a man like this cannot be overestimated. His affect on the people around him is palpable and measureable. Knowing that he regarded me as a gentleman is the greatest source of pride in my life. I consciously dedicate each and every day to being worthy of his respect in all things. This persuit is the foundation of my entire life. All of my personal and professional achievements are direct result of this effort. I am not the man that he was but working towards it is the most satisfying thing in my life.

  38. Luke Stark (@lukesaysmoo)
    Thursday 19 September 2013, 10:33 am | Reply

    Can we talk about the chauvinism in points 2 & 3? I mean really.
    The rest is really rather nice.

  39. What an interesting vacuous narrative. A Fierce Gentlemen would be mature enough to be beyond such silly caricatures.

  40. I would agree with the posters saying that this article is “classist,” in the sense that this gentleman exudes class. These are just thoughtful ways to carry one’s self, regardless of social or economic status.

    I particularly agreed with one commenter that made the point re: #1, it doesn’t have to be a suit, but more just present yourself in a respectable and well kept manner, regardless of your occupation or “status.” Presenting yourself outwardly in a well kept manner is also a sign of respect toward others, let alone one’s self.

    Call me old fashioned, but I don’t really see any other reasonable points of contention toward the other nine. Great article.

  41. You lost me at #1. What is it, a cinderella story? How to be a prince charming. This is not a reality. And you will never find this kind of a man (except for fashion magazines – which is a fantazy anyway). Why dont we concentrate teaching a man to be reaponsible, sincere and loving instead of giving us “wanna be” nonsense? Look around at whats going in the world and in this country, do you really want to spend hours in front of the mirror or call for an action to make this world a better place. Your #1 already is a failure, if he is too preoccupied to dress for success then he has nothing better tondo with his life than to pretend to be FG

    • With all respect, I don’t agree with you…they do exist. I know a man with *many* of these qualities. :) <3

      Regarding #1: Like others, I don't believe it needs to be "a suit", but just the sense of caring about oneself.

      I wish you well.

    • Kira,

      There are men like this. I am not a fairy tale. Responsibility, sincerity and love are all a part of what the writer is talking about and necessary parts of being a gentleman. I don’t wear suits and ties, but I take care to present myself well. I don’t find that making an effort to look good takes up so much of my time that I can’t be productive.

    • i think to a certain degree these qualities of being a human being can be applied to both genders. taking care of your appearance in the manner you see fit as making you feel good is a key component of living life well.

      there are many men and women who fulfill these qualities.

    • I completely agree with you. It is the same ideals given to what “women” are supposed to look and behave like that women don’t like. It’s shallow and doesn’t consider lasting things a man can be which you mention; Responsible, sincere, and shows love. It leaves out entire groups of INCREDIBLE men the posses the highest qualities in a HUMAN BEING.

  42. I don’t always hit the wrong keys when I try to write as I did just now, but I will be 84 in a week and beg off on that score!

  43. I is an encouragement to see that someone else thinks like this, but I don’t rate a perfect “10″ I enjoy trying–though it is often lonely in today’s culture. Thanks for the “words of encouragement?”

  44. These are rules I have always lived by. Thanks.

  45. I have read more nonsensical bullshit in my life, but I can’t remember when. Go back to your Yaley circle-jerk, and try to reinvent the ascot.

  46. In an era filled with a bunch of crap (YOLO, swag, boss…etc.) some true gospel of how to be a gentleman.

  47. After reading this, I realised I’m not such a failure after all. Thank you for ushering me back from the Black Dog of Depression and into The Warm Light of Life.

    • I appreciate ALL of this, and I can particularly relate to this comment (by C. Armstrong) While not claiming the title of F.G., I might suggest that (for some of us?) these self-imposed ideals can be double-edged swords. When we’re not “at our best” we CAN think our worst. Yes or no ?

  48. Great List! I would add what a lady already mentioned she found in her late husband…a fount of joy….a father/mentor to others. Thanks for your thoughts.

  49. number 11: He doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis…

  50. It would be awesome if there was one written on qualities that make a Fierce Lady :)

  51. I feel i can call myself A a Fierce Gentleman!
    But this blog does enlighten me in so many ways!
    Much appreciated sir :)

  52. I feel like you need to have something about being able to respectfully listen to the opinions and thoughts of others. A Fierce Gentleman should be able to have a dialogue with a person he doesn’t agree with. He should also be able to concede when an intelligent point challenges his beliefs.

  53. Am I to assume by the example given in the accompanying photo that being heavily tattooed is also a qualification for being a ‘fierce gentleman”? If so, I wholeheartedly agree.

  54. 11: he avoids using the word “fierce” at all costs

  55. The F.G. doesn’t exist. It’s just an entry in someone’s blog, that is all. And blogs, as we all know, are just a place you build your fantasy world. Maybe the write wants to be that person. Maybe he thinks he already is that person. It’s irrelevant.

  56. I think this could only have been written by a 15 year old boy, or perhaps an Australian. It is sexist and classist in equal measure and has all the pretentiousness and make-believe that only inadequacy can really generate.

  57. Reading this post has revived my hope in mankind. Yes, that sounds dramatic but I mean it! It’s also given me something to aspire to. I can’t expect to attract a gentleman if I’m not a gentle-woman – or working towards being a gentle-woman. Nice!!

  58. Thank you for this article and this concept. I hope the popularity of your site is a sign that the sociological “pendulum” is starting to swing back to manners, self-disclipline, courtesy, and, of course, masculinity!

  59. One of the most openly classist things I’ve read in quite a while. Your fierce gentleman obviously doesn’t work in the building trades in that perfectly pressed suit, does he? You’re one of those people who cringe when they pass me at Lowe’s or see me during lunch break. It’s okay; you’d be absolutely blown away by how completely invisible a man in a blue shirt with name patches can be at times.

    • Phillip —My Father was a laborer and Tradesman and an ass-bustin’, hard-workin Man’s MAN.

      He taught ME the value of LABOR, of skinned knuckles, fixing my own sh*t and SWEAT. I’m a photographer now, among other things … His father before him was a master stone mason and I sorely miss them BOTH.

      Pops SHO’ looked good in his tailored pin stripes, pressed ivory white shirt and lavender tie; cuffs, suspenders … topped off with a perfect white rose. STYLIN’. —And the Man could DANCE, too.

      Cleaned up REEEAL Good, that Man did.
      He was NOT invisible.

      Nor are YOU.

      Blessings …

    • Thank you! Completely classist.

      Also, not all women are impressed by a narcissist with an outdated sense of chivalry. Some of us are Fierce Women and don’t take kindly to douche bags with Mad Men fashion obsessions who cherish little ladies.

    • I don’t think the author meant to be classist, although I can see how what he wrote could come off that way. As a working class guy, would you ever refer to yourself as ‘fierce’?

      Take away requirement #1 and you have a ‘Man’, add ‘Knows how to work with his hands to build and repair things.’ and you have a ‘Real Man’.

      Anyway, I think the overall idea is right. The Art of Manliness is another good blog on this subject.

    • If it helps, I prefer my ‘fierce gentlemen’ to come home from work sweaty and dirty and be able to build/fix things with their hands.

      Just saying.

    • My significant other works as an electrician. He is on scaffolds all day and strapped to harnesses. He also drives cherry pickers and does not work in airconditioning yet he has these ten qualities of a fierce gentleman.

      Your job does not define you as a gentleman. it is your actions and how you carry yourself. He opens car doors for me, treats me with utmost respect, and appreciates the woman that I am. What he does at work is separate.

    • I agree with you on that, but I would edit it to say that the FG dresses at the highest levels of his profession. I’ve seen plumbers and mechanics who come to work wearing clean uniforms, with clean hands and who try to maintain their appearance for customers, even though they may have a giant motor oil stain on their shirt from work they did that day. Then I’ve seen the ones who haven’t washed their clothes for a week, have half their lunch spilled on their shirt and major butt crack showing. You can be hands on, but still classy.

      I also don’t wear a suit for my job and would look absolutely ridiculous if I did.

    • The first item put me off too. Oh well nine of ten isn’t so bad. I guess FGs never heard that clothes don’t wear the man.

  60. An elegant description on the modern approach to ‘Warrior Spirit’, how to be an ‘Everyday Samurai’ – Noble and Fierce.

  61. I have to let you know how much I enjoyed your article. I was married to an FG, until he died two years ago. I consider my life to be ennobled, because of him. The only things I didn’t see in your article, but will address now are:
    1. His ability to enjoy the moment. Laughter. Not at anyone’s expense, just pure joy.
    2. His ability to engage his children, and teach them while allowing their own fierceness to develop.
    These two ingredients were also present in my husband, Bill. The best.

  62. Christopher Uchman-Douglas
    Wednesday 11 September 2013, 12:07 pm | Reply

    Andrew-

    I must commend you on your observation of the Quixotic qualities and natures of certain rare individules in this world…

    I look forward to seeing how this blog develops , as it is a noble endeavor of which I hope to see flourish and influence the younger generations so bereft of such consciousness .

  63. This is fantastic. I think you took so many great ideas from disparate influences and brought them together succinctly to describe exactly what I aspire to be. Look forward to reading more.

  64. I’m lucky enough to have married a F.G. :)

  65. I count myself fortunate indeed to be married to just such a Fierce Gentleman.

    Seriously. He is and I am.

  66. Greatly liked the article – not so keen on the + Buddhism portion of the logo,- is this an exclusion of Christian FG’s?

    • Mark, not at all. I consider Buddhism to be a psychological orientation, not a religion. Christianity and Buddhism can co-exist peacefully. In fact, much of what Christ said was very resonant with Buddha’s teachings. If you want to talk in more detail, I’d relish the opportunity — you can email me through the website.

  67. Hope you don’t mind that I repost this in my blog; it’s sort of a “how-to/Art of Manliness” for Orthodox Christian men.

  68. I have recently come across a couple of true gentlemen, which brought me to this site. I wanted to educated myself with modern day information as the only true gentlemen i have known is my father and brother. What a pleasure it was meeting these men, which in turn made me feel cherished and respected as a women. For years i have informed complaining men they could have the world handed to them in the relationship area if they would only open up enough to let go of the “typical man” theory which has been taught to them by peers. Integrity seems to be a way of the past. What a beautiful world we could create if standard men would emulate these men of excellence.

  69. Sounds like a guy ripe for being taken advantage of by women, his employer, and the state.

    • “Ripe for being taken advantage of”? Only if you ignore points #7 and 10.

      On the other hand, is a world of flaccid posers, having a backbone and integrity can be an impediment to being in demand.

    • MrT,

      You may be correct perhaps, but that is the nature of having a pure heart. However, those who have cultivated such a pure heart can many times perceive such persons looking to take advantage from a mile off. Living this lifestyle is not glamourous. It can be a drain on resources rather than supplementing them. However, the reward that comes with doing good and right things for others, in my opinion, outweighs all of that.

  70. Andrew, I definitely love the conception of the Fierce Gentleman. Looking forward for new F.G. posts!

  71. Hello! Great blog!

    In describing what a Fierce Gentleman is…. you have described my Grandfather almost perfectly. He was definitely a Fierce Gentleman…. due in large part to his mother, and father. He grew up in an age when it was a treasured pursuit… as was being a Fierce Lady. I am going to email you his story and photo in the coming days…. he was my dearest friend in life, and a constant reminder to me of goodness. He was a real Gentleman.

    • Kevin, please do send . . . I would love to profile your Grandfather here on the blog (with your permission of course.) Thanks for writing.

  72. OK, I know I’m a girl who stumbled on this and decided to click on a couple of blog entries out of curiosity, I have to say, this concept is quite intriguing… I’d really like to meet one of these sorts of gentlemen, not merely out of romantic interest (though I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t be a consideration at all), but because that sort of person sounds like he makes the world a better place and would be very useful and gratifying to know– or even talk to.

    • Hey Amy, yes, the F.G. is very rare. I can share more of my experience about where women tend to find this type of man, even for conversation. andrew (@) loveandfreedomproject dot com. Cheers

Leave a Reply