The Fierce Lady is a woman in Love. She adores men, faces her demons, & nurtures the world.
So you’ve read the 10 Qualities That Make you a Fierce Gentleman, and you thought to yourself: All well and good, but what about the Ladies?
Here, dear reader, is what about the Fierce Ladies:
- She cultivates inner beauty. As much pressure as women in the modern world get to use all available resources for appearance, the Fierce Lady actively cultivates her natural, inner beauty. She does this by filling her mind and heart with messages that are positive. She understands there is a deep reservoir of peace within her, and she actively taps into this. Her outer beauty is a reflection of deep inner peace and joy, and she lets nothing get in the way of her access to this inner strength.
- She puts others first. This is not self-debasement. The Fierce Lady knows that if she hasn’t taken care of herself, she can’t take care of anyone else. She has compassion first for herself, so she may have compassion for others. Starting from a base of healthy self-esteem, the Fierce Lady knows how to think about what others want, be considerate of their needs and desires, and be solicitous of them. Because of this, she is a pleasure to be around.
- She allows herself to be put first. Because her self-worth is not neurotically tied into always being in a serving role, she can relax and allow herself to be cared for, tended to, looked after, and, yes, put first. She recognizes that this is generosity, not selfishness: that other people (often men) get pleasure from serving women, and so she gives them the gift of allowing them to take care of her. And the best givers are great getters. She understands that the wheel of Giving and Getting is simply the karmic cycle of the Gift, and she doesn’t try to over-control its flow, but surrenders into the flow instead.
- The Fierce Lady surrenders. Whether it be surrender to her lover, or the larger surrender to the flux of events in the world, the Fierce Lady understands there is only so much she can do, only so much she can control. She practices regularly opening her posture, her breathing, and her heart in the middle of the most difficult situations — those that tempt her the most to shut down completely. She knows that her greatest gift lies in the undefended opening and blooming that allows her to catch the most sun. And she knows that it is her surrender that most opens her man.
- She adores Men. Many women on the path to becoming Fierce Ladies have mixed feelings about men. They love them and hate them, adore them and fear them. This fraught relationship reflects inner demons that must be confronted and conquered. A Fierce Lady has conquered her demons, repaired her relationship to the masculine, and henceforth simply adores men for all they offer her. Although particular men may become beloved to her heart, in this area she broadcasts wide adoration of all men, despite their particular quirks and foibles — and all men can feel this, and are attracted to the Fierce Lady because of it.
- She is Fierce. You can call this “feisty” or “fiery” or “strong”, but it comes to the same thing: the Fierce Lady is no shrinking violet (although she may have started out that way). She speaks her mind, she stands up to authority when authority is wrong, she does the right thing regardless of what law or conventional wisdom says to do. A Fierce Lady is a lioness. She has the same protective instinct for all the downtrodden in the world that a mamma bear has in protecting her cubs, and this is fired with a finely-honed sense of justice. She steps in to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and care for those who cannot care for themselves.
- The Fierce Lady loves. She loves animals, she loves nature, she loves men, she loves women, she loves shoes, she loves something — passionately, independently, fiercely. The object of her love is less important than the fact that she is overflowing with it, freely broadcasting it into the world. It is said that men want love, but women are love — and it is true. (Really, both men and women are Love, but let’s not pick nits — we’re making a list here.)
- The Fierce Lady is impeccable with her word. She understands the considerable power of her words — the power to heal, and the power to harm. Because of this great power, she takes great care and daily discipline to avoid using her word against herself, against her sisters, or against her brothers or anyone else.
- The Fierce Lady understands soft power. Her discretion, diplomacy and subtlety command the greatest respect, and get the greatest results. She understands how easy it is to “try too hard” and how easy it is to “effort it” and use the linear, masculine power that gets results, but at great cost. She understands that between the water and the rock, the water always wins. She channels this power of Nature and wears down her obstacles. Every time.
- The Fierce Lady nurtures the world. This is a very wounded world. The Fierce Lady understands that what the world needs now is not more harsh, angular & austere solutions, but more nurturing. This is why the Fierce Lady addresses herself to the deepest and most painful wound she feels called to address, whether this is rescuing stray animals or feeding orphans in Africa. She knows that as long as she brings her warmth and nurturing love to this wound, it doesn’t matter if it’s the ‘biggest’ or ‘most important’ — what matters is merely that she knows, from listening to her deepest inner voice of of wisdom, that this is exactly where she should be, doing exactly what she is doing.
I will admit I wrote this list with no small amount of trepidation, as I am a man interpreting a female archetype.
I can ask only for the gentle consideration of my Fierce Lady readers, as they make suggestions to add or enhance this list.
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Also published on Medium.